On Being a Mom

 

 

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I was the traditional little girl who played with dolls for days on end. My best friend Nicki and I would play dolls overnight; we even used her younger brother and my younger sister to be the older child of our “families”. She lived across the street from me all through elementary school. This allowed us to “pretend” we were neighbor moms. 

In junior high and high school, I was naturally drawn to babysitting and teaching swimming lessons to young swimmers. I also “mothered” my youngest sister, Liz, whenever possible. It was awesome to have a new baby in the house when I was 8. Unfortunately, she didn’t love this “mothering” continuing until she was an adult. I also chose to become a school teacher and coach instead of a pilot, in order to work with kids but also to have a schedule that would “make sense” to have a family.

At 28, I finally became a mom for the first time about 1 week before Mother’s Day. Eva Mae came into my life and changed it  and me forever. Becoming a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is also the absolute hands down most challenging endeavour I have ever taken on. 

No one warns you about this part. When you give birth, your child does not come with an owner’s manual. There are no instructions on how to parent. Yes, there are self-help books, but most of those contradict themselves. You should put your baby on a schedule. No, babies make their own schedules. Give children consequences; no, positively reinforce their behavior. To breastfeed or not, to co-sleep or not. Be a stay at home mom; be a working mom….. The list goes on and on….. 

And then there’s the mom guilt. Come on, you know we all have it. It doesn’t seem to matter what you do. As mom’s, we are always questioning ourselves if someone else isn’t already…. Everyone seems to know how to parent or have an opinion about parenting…..

We are all also scared at some point if not multiple times throughout parenting that we are “messing our child up”.

If we aren’t questioning ourselves as moms, and others aren’t questioning our parenting, then enters our child with his or her own opinions……. 

“Mary’s mom lets her!”

“I hate you!”

“You like/love (brother or sister’s name) more!”

“I hate you!”

“You’re so mean!”

“Bobby’s mom is nicer than you!”

“Why?”

“I hate you!”

“Susie’s mom is cooler than you!”

Need I say more? It’s a tough job. Sometimes, it’s all we can do to survive a day or even an hour. Often it is a thankless job; but someone’s got to do it. Guess what? That’s you!

You know what is the best part of being a mom, though? Those moments no one else gets to share or see. 

Getting up at all hours of the night to feed them when they are babies. Those snuggles are so special.

Hearing their first words, especially if it isn’t “dad’. :)

Teaching them to walk, feed themselves, dress themselves, and yes use the bathroom all by themselves.

Snuggling up with a good book before bed.

When they are sick, and all they want is mom.

Wiping their tears when they are sad or hurt. 

Hearing them say, “I love you mom!” 

Or “You’re the best mom!”

Hugs…. All the hugs

All the good nights; tucking them in.

And all the good mornings.

Watching them as they learn to read, and the excitement that comes when they read you their first book.

Their first piano recital, band concert, or theater production.

Watching them swim, play soccer or basketball, run or jump EVERY TIME!

Hearing them giggle.

Being the first person they come to to sort out a problem.

Picking out school clothes. 

Helping them get ready for their first dance.

Hearing them call you and only you, “mom”.

I know this list will continue to grow as my children grow up. I am already dreading the day when my house grows quiet, and my beautiful, hardworking daughters are grown. I only hope that someday, they truly know how much I love them and the amount of joy they have brought into my life. Because even though the journey can be so difficult at times, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being Eva and Abby’s mom is the best thing I have ever done. They are my biggest challenge but remain the best decision I have ever made. I wouldn’t trade being their mom for anything. 

Mom’s it’s a tough road, but so worth the journey. Keep going, because you never know what joy lies just around the corner. 

Love,

Ann