Farewell 2019, Thanks for the Lessons

Farewell 2019, Thanks for the Lessons
Welcome 2020

I've been struggling trying to decide how to feel about a new year, a new

decade, 2020. Part of me wants to be excited for a new beginning. The

other part of me honestly knows that it is just another date on the calendar,

and things will likely not change much. Really, you can start new any time

you decide to start. Whether it is starting a new workout program, deciding

to eat healthier, leaving a job and starting a new one, having a baby, or

leaving or starting a new marriage, if we all wait for a new year to make

changes nothing would move forward, really....

This past year was a tough one. I thought 2015 was rough going through

having 3 holes in my heart repaired. Then, I thought 2017 was rough, after

rupturing my achilles tendon. Both of these happened in January in odd

calendar years. Therefore, I fully expected January 2019 to bring another

new health challenge. In fact, I actually breathed a huge sigh of relief when

February 1 came and my health was still intact. Little did I know the

challenges that still lie ahead of me in 2019. These did not come in the form

of health issues though, so I guess I have that going for me. My challenge

came in the form of my relationship ending. My 15 year marriage came to

a screeching halt about a month before our anniversary.

Honestly, it was a long time coming, but it still felt like a shock. On that

day in May, I was not expecting it to..... just be over. Looking back, I think

I was in shock for a few months. Yes, life went on, but I definitely did not

deal with the relationship ending. I just went through the motions, kept

living life, trying to keep the pieces from falling apart. I put one foot in front

in front of the other.

I celebrated turning 40 in August. I took care of my 2 beautiful daughters,

doing my best to put their needs first. They started 5th and 7th grades this

fall and are simply amazing to watch grow. Eva tried Cross Country this fall

and loved it. Abby's U11 soccer team went undefeated with her as a strong

leader on the field. Both are in band and now have moved on to swimming

competitively. I was able to accompany Abby to Oregon where she

represented team Wyoming at the Western Zones swimming meet.

She broke a Wyoming State record in the 100 breastroke!

Throughout this journey, I have made some amazing friends who listened

when I needed to talk, gave me a shoulder when I needed to cry, partied

with me when I needed to let loose, and worked out with me when I needed

to relieve stress.

Here are some important lessons I am taking from 2019.

Separation and divorce doesn't mean you have to hate your ex. In fact,

it can allow you the space to truly appreciate that they are a wonderful

person, but just not for you.

Friends can become family. They are the family you choose.

Making your children a priority is always the right choice. When you and

your ex-spouse keep this in mind, children are resilient and can handle

more than you think. In fact, they can thrive.

It is ok to choose yourself first once and while, and in fact sometimes

absolutely necessary.

It is ok to be happy, sad, or mad. It is ok to have feelings and show them.

Learning to love yourself is an art. But it can be done.

Celebrating gratitude everyday, no matter how small, helps you get

through the roughest days.

You are worthy of the love you desire. It is out there. Don't be afraid to

look or accept it.

Some days you just have to breathe. Inhale...exhale... just get through.

You are never broken. Sometimes in the moment you may feel this way,

but you will land on your feet and become stronger from those moments.

While it would be easy to be mad and bitter about this year. I may have

wanted to slam the door on 2019 and never look back, I think some day I

will be thankful for all it had to offer. Hopefully, I will look back and see that

I am blessed to have had all of those experiences positive and negative. I

will be stronger and better than ever and will be ready to take on anything.

Look out 2020, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right?

Happy 2020 everyone! May it bring you many blessings!

Thanks for reading through and going on this crazy journey with me.

Fondly,

Ann