Celebration

Celebration

5 Year Anniversary

Today, I celebrate. I celebrate my health. I celebrate my ability to live life to it's fullest.
I am full of gratitude for each day I wake up and greet the day, regardless of why lies ahead.
Five years ago today, I entered into a 2 hour procedure to repair my PFO and 2 ASDS at the
University of Denver Hospital. These 3 holes in my atrium wall were apparently present since
birth, and at 35 years old, I had no idea they were there until my health took a huge downward
turn. (Please,visit older posts on this blog to view my whole story if you are interested. I want this post to be one of celebration and not a review of what I went through.) This experience was a
huge turning point in my life and has shaped much of who I have become today. I am so
thankful that I went through this experience.

SISU - Finnish for Grit/Perserverance

Has everyday been easy?
Did this experience magically add rainbows and unicorns to my life? Hell no! Those who know me, know that I have had several more difficult experiences that have also contributed to framing who I am today. All of which seem to happen in January.... Life still has difficulties, but I view these challenges as opportunities to grow and become strong with each experience rather than tear me down.

But today, right now, in this moment, I am choosing to be grateful and celebrate. Because I knew my body, and I knew something was wrong. When gasping for breath on a simple brisk walk, shouldn't have been the norm. I sought answers. So, I am now here living life to it's fullest. I am in the best shape of my life, yes at 40 years old. I am preparing for my first partner Cross Fit competition on Saturday.  I am doing this as a celebration of what my body can do. At 40 years old, I am still getting stronger. I still celebrate my PRs in the gym. I am still learning new skills and continuing to refine old ones. I remain stroke free, because  I was healthy, and then I wasn't, and I listened to my body, to keep myself healthy.

Eva 12 years old and Abby 10 years old

Today, I celebrate. I celebrate I am here to see my 2 beautiful daughters grow into the amazing young women they are becoming. They are amazing little people with the kindest hearts and caring souls. Last night, I stopped in my tracks to listen to their giggles coming from the basement. This brought me to tears. It is the small moments that take my breath away. I hug them more. I hug them tighter. Watching them swim, play soccer, run, play their instruments, all bring me more joy than I could have ever understood. I look forward to all they will become and know I am lucky to have such joy in my life, and the gift of being Eva and Abby's mom.


Today, I celebrate my family. I have 2 amazing sisters that have become my best friends through choice. Despite our differences, we have become one another's glue. Sisters by birth friends by choice. Regardless, of the time day or night, I know they are there for me to cry or laugh with. They let me vent, and listen without judgement. They give me advice and the tough love I need sometimes. Although, we live far apart, through our efforts, distance has not let us drift apart. My parents are also an amazing part of my life. Always, available to listen and support me in all I do. They both sacrificed much to help raise me into a woman I hope they can be proud of today. My family is my rock.

Today, I celebrate the friendships I have made. My circle isn't big, but it is what keeps me putting one foot in front of the other through all of life's journeys and struggles. I have amazing friends near and far who support me and hold me up and celebrate victories with me, as well. My heart swells when a message from a friend appears unexpectedly. I value the connections that come from coffee dates and simply talking with a friend over a drink. My friends are my family.

So, today, I celebrate. I am so grateful for the trials life has thrown my way. Yes, it sounds corny to be thankful for the struggles. I acknowledge this, but with the struggles comes learning and growth, as well as, gratitude for all of the amazing people that have graced my life. I appreciate my 2 amazing daughters, my sisters, my parents, my friends, and my health in a way I never could have before. Time is non-refundable, and I am so glad that I was given more of it to enjoy the many gifts life have given me.

Happy Heart Fixed Day to me!

Fondly,

Ann

Farewell 2019, Thanks for the Lessons

Farewell 2019, Thanks for the Lessons
Welcome 2020

I've been struggling trying to decide how to feel about a new year, a new

decade, 2020. Part of me wants to be excited for a new beginning. The

other part of me honestly knows that it is just another date on the calendar,

and things will likely not change much. Really, you can start new any time

you decide to start. Whether it is starting a new workout program, deciding

to eat healthier, leaving a job and starting a new one, having a baby, or

leaving or starting a new marriage, if we all wait for a new year to make

changes nothing would move forward, really....

This past year was a tough one. I thought 2015 was rough going through

having 3 holes in my heart repaired. Then, I thought 2017 was rough, after

rupturing my achilles tendon. Both of these happened in January in odd

calendar years. Therefore, I fully expected January 2019 to bring another

new health challenge. In fact, I actually breathed a huge sigh of relief when

February 1 came and my health was still intact. Little did I know the

challenges that still lie ahead of me in 2019. These did not come in the form

of health issues though, so I guess I have that going for me. My challenge

came in the form of my relationship ending. My 15 year marriage came to

a screeching halt about a month before our anniversary.

Honestly, it was a long time coming, but it still felt like a shock. On that

day in May, I was not expecting it to..... just be over. Looking back, I think

I was in shock for a few months. Yes, life went on, but I definitely did not

deal with the relationship ending. I just went through the motions, kept

living life, trying to keep the pieces from falling apart. I put one foot in front

in front of the other.

I celebrated turning 40 in August. I took care of my 2 beautiful daughters,

doing my best to put their needs first. They started 5th and 7th grades this

fall and are simply amazing to watch grow. Eva tried Cross Country this fall

and loved it. Abby's U11 soccer team went undefeated with her as a strong

leader on the field. Both are in band and now have moved on to swimming

competitively. I was able to accompany Abby to Oregon where she

represented team Wyoming at the Western Zones swimming meet.

She broke a Wyoming State record in the 100 breastroke!

Throughout this journey, I have made some amazing friends who listened

when I needed to talk, gave me a shoulder when I needed to cry, partied

with me when I needed to let loose, and worked out with me when I needed

to relieve stress.

Here are some important lessons I am taking from 2019.

Separation and divorce doesn't mean you have to hate your ex. In fact,

it can allow you the space to truly appreciate that they are a wonderful

person, but just not for you.

Friends can become family. They are the family you choose.

Making your children a priority is always the right choice. When you and

your ex-spouse keep this in mind, children are resilient and can handle

more than you think. In fact, they can thrive.

It is ok to choose yourself first once and while, and in fact sometimes

absolutely necessary.

It is ok to be happy, sad, or mad. It is ok to have feelings and show them.

Learning to love yourself is an art. But it can be done.

Celebrating gratitude everyday, no matter how small, helps you get

through the roughest days.

You are worthy of the love you desire. It is out there. Don't be afraid to

look or accept it.

Some days you just have to breathe. Inhale...exhale... just get through.

You are never broken. Sometimes in the moment you may feel this way,

but you will land on your feet and become stronger from those moments.

While it would be easy to be mad and bitter about this year. I may have

wanted to slam the door on 2019 and never look back, I think some day I

will be thankful for all it had to offer. Hopefully, I will look back and see that

I am blessed to have had all of those experiences positive and negative. I

will be stronger and better than ever and will be ready to take on anything.

Look out 2020, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right?

Happy 2020 everyone! May it bring you many blessings!

Thanks for reading through and going on this crazy journey with me.

Fondly,

Ann