Waiting

I wrote this yesterday......working on an update......

This is my new mantra.  I am failing miserably.  Waiting..... NO ONE would describe me as a patient person.  In fact, my dad told me, "There is not a picture of you in the dictionary next to the word patience." 

Exercise has ALWAYS been my coping mechanism for stressful situations. Does this not qualify as stressful?  Now, the most I am allowed to do is take a brisk walk?!  

Today, marks 2 weeks since my TEE when I was told that I have a PFO and an ASD. I marked this day on my calendar with a large red X, because the cardiologist in Casper said I will have information regarding how these two holes will need to be repaired in 1-2 weeks.  

He explained that they may be able to be repaired through a closed procedure in which a catheter inserted through my groin would be used to place a patch over the holes.  The other possibility would be open heart surgery.  Because there are 2 holes with very little tissue between, the later would more likely.  However, we will know for sure after he sends the TEE and shunt test to a cardiologist in Denver who specializes in the closed procedure.  "Ok," I thought, no big deal, we will know soon. Sedation has a way of making a person more patient.....

"BIG DEAL!" The first week wasn't so bad.  I was busy with the end of the first semester at school and getting ready for Christmas. The time off from exercise gave me some much needed extra time and some energy to get the "extra things" completed.  

Week 2 well that is another story..... Christmas is over, the kids are bouncing off the walls, and I want to go skiing, to Cross Fit, ice skating, sledding, and swimming.  My house is a mess, and did I mention we got a boat load of snow on Christmas day and a little more each day every since????  I also got a kidney infection for Christmas.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  This morning, I joked with my doctor that I am just going to move into the clinic.  

I still have almost a whole week off from school and still no answers.  I feel like I am getting the run around.  On Friday, I was told, you should definitely have answers on Monday. The cardiologist has been off because of the holidays.  Today, the nurse said, the doctors in Denver and Casper have not talked yet. The cardiologist in Denver is going to Taiwan tomorrow and the cardiologist in Casper is off this whole week. Still no information......Ugh!  I don't know how much longer I can wait! I know that doctors are very hard working people just like everyone else and everyone needs a break, but why does it need to be when I am waiting for information!

My poor husband and best friends, Shelli and Josie, and my sister, Ellie (via phone) got the brunt of my breakdown tonight.  I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life supporting me and lifting me up. Thanks to you all being there for me no matter what.

So, I made an appointment with a different cardiologist in Denver. The earliest I can get in is January 14, 2015.  Another 2 weeks to wait for answers...... that is the plan for now.  In the meantime, maybe the cardiologist in Denver will call..... I guess I am just not the type of girl who will sit and wait for the phone to ring forever.  

In the meantime, I need to figure out how to not go crazy. Once this infection clears up, I will settle for skiing behind the girls, very easy swimming, and my "brisk walks"..... I will find joy in more Lego projects with the girls and my new found a crochet hobby.  I may even do a few body weight squats, push ups, yoga, or anything else I can do at a brisk walk pace. Who knows, maybe I will stop and smell some roses along the way.... metaphorically speaking of course since tomorrow the high is supposed to be -2.